Grey’s Anatomy – Calgary style
Well after working nights and discovering Facebook… I have noticed heaps of my friends really really really like this show called Grey’s Anatomy (GA)…. And so I thought I would take you through my typical day in a real hospital… cause my only beef with shows like GA or ER is that they never show the nurses.. who are the TRUE heroes of any hospital…
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After working nights with only one day off.. I was back on Days… and working at FMC (foothills medical centre) one of
Just the drive into work this morning was crazy enough…. Driving in Calgary is like a mix of Driving in Montreal, Texas and Tokyo combined into one… no one really follows any driving rules.. and those lines in the middle of the road provide no guidance to the red necks here… after being nearly run off the road a few times… I slipped and slided my car into the hospital parking lot…. I went thru the side entrance and walked thru the back of Emerg and down this long hallway to get to the main part of the hospital…
I like to take this way.. cause one can gauge how the day is going to be.. based on the walk thru this long hallway… we call the hallway “ Paramedic alley”….
Its basically a 100m long narrow hallway with tons of stretchers for the patients that come into the hospital in an Ambulance and some chairs for the paramedics as they wait to be seen by a doctor..…and here at FMC… this hallway is usually jammed packed with patients on stretchers…
I really feel for these people as they can wait for hours and get no privacy as tons of people walk down the hallway….**note there are some really HOT paramedics in Calgary**wink wink
There have been some days where I see the same patients in paramedic alley at the start and end of my shift…
And today… paramedic alley was only half full…
I continued my long trek to the other end of FMC - the walk from one end of the hospital to the other can usually take 15 minutes….and when I got into the room where I report into… no one even acknowledged my presence even though I said “morning.. and greeted each person”…..** *cgy is one of the rudest cities so I don’t take it personally anymore**
I wrote my name and pager number on the white board.. and waited for the other CSI I was rounding with…when he finally arrived…instead of greeting me with a hello he just gave me some updates from ER.. and said he was going to round in Emerg and ICU and I should round the rest of the hospital…
So I responded with dripping sarcasm “cool a 90/10 spilt of the hospital seems cool” but I don’t think he picked up on my **Little Britain**British sarcasm…
As I set out for a day of rounding this huge hospital alone… I got my first page of the day..and quickly skipped off to Surgery..Yes I do actually skip when I walk down the halls.. and sometimes even sing too..but I usually do it when im rounding in Mental Health…
When I got to the nurses station in the surgical unit… I was greeted by a wall of discontent on every RNs face. and after being scowled at for 2 minutes by this irate nurse…I told her to shut it.. and then proceeded to help her clean up the patient’s charts…. Its funny how mean nurses can be not only to me but also to each other… but after I patiently sat with her with a big smile on my face to show her what she was doing wrong… she completely turned around and was thanking me and gave me a chocolate… it was soo BI-polarish…its not even funny..
Im getting great exercise when I do rounds.. cause I take the stairs…and the main building at FMC has 12 floors and the secondary building has 5 floors..
My calves are going to be sexy as.. and I should be ready to climb any mountain this summer…
As I was going down the stairs.. I ran into my own Dr. McDreamy… omg this resident is soooooo hot… he is not very tall but very compact well built…. blond hair blue eyes.. and WOW he kinda looks like Chris Mabee or the guy Blake on this season of American Idol …… he was one of the physicians I taught back in the summer.. and the whole time in class I would look into his eyes and just completely melt..and this one time he asked me a question in class while I was standing behind him.. and I went to grab his mouse to show him something on the computer I accidentally touched his hand.. and when I did that our heads were so close…and when our eyes met.. we had this total “sex in the city” moment..and my skin went all flush and the hair on my arms went all tingly like I got an electric shock
** as much as I try to keep professional that was one WOW moment…** so since that class… I have weekly run ins with Dr. Hottie McHottie…. And each time I run into him I cant get enough courage to talk to him or even say hi….or even manage a Neanderthal grunt…
I have seen him in the physician lounge several times.. and each time I have seen him… I quickly look away… I don’t know why I cant seem to talk …
Well today.. like 6 months after that class… I run into him in the stairway.. and this time our eyes met…and of course it had to me the moment I was skipping down the stairs like the biggest fag ever…Dr. hottie mc hottie.. approached me.. and said….
Get this….he said… Hello…
Well I must have gone a soo red… cause the other dr who was with him.. said.. wow man you’re red …
Anyways.. after a few awkward seconds which seemed like an eternity… Dr. Hottie asked if I wanted to grab lunch one day…
I said yes…. At least I think I did…im not sure if I responded in English or not… but anyways… being hospital employees we didn’t exchange phone number but instead exchanged pager numbers..** u have to work in healthcare to understand***everything is done on pager…
The moment after we parted ways… I fell down a flight of stairs….
Not to worry though… after all the car accidents I can do a flight of stairs headfirst better than inspector Clueseau any day…
** after that I didn’t remember much for a few hours… although I did run into a total cutie Rob which is fun… its great to fun into friends at work…
my final page of the day…. Came for a doctor in palliative care who was upset about something…
so off I skipped to that unit…and the moment I walked thru the doors.. I felt like I was ambushed by the meanest doctor ever…
in front of everyone including staff, patients and visitors… she started to yell and was so mad at me and tearing me new holes I never knew a human could have… this was one pissed off doctor…sailors would have blushed at the language she used…
… Apparently she was upset because she wasn’t able to order any labs or medications for this one patient…..
I let her continue to spew some wicked Exocercist-like phrases at me.. before I finally said… “ok lets see how I can help ya”
When I pulled up her patient on the computer to see why she wasn’t able to order anything … I took a look at the chart… and said to her
“mam’ your patient is dead… that’s why the computer wont let u put orders in.... it figures he probably doesn’t need pain medication anymore”
well the look on her face was classic…. Instead of apologizing to me…she got even madder and said.. well the systems still stupid and so are you
well.. even though I may be stupid to her… or an ugly son of a bitch cock to her… I have a lunch date with Dr. Hottie mc Hottie..
I will let you know how it goes… hopefully we won’t have to do any stairs on the date… and you know.. nothing says romantic meal.. than hospital cafeteria food..
posted by matt @ 10:06 PM
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